Sunday, March 2, 2014
Today I needed some cleaning therapy. And I dont call it therapy often. But today, I found myself with some ever elusive time on my hands. Combine that with a perfectly gray rainy day and a heavy heart, and I was ready to clean. I needed to clean because I needed to clear my thoughts just as much as I needed to clear the kitchen counters.
I have two sons that I am absolutely smitten with. I mean I adore them in an "I cant stop staring at you both and I want to follow you around to protect you from everything in life but that would be creepy so I dont" kinda way. My oldest son is in high school. He is a varsity athlete and for the first time ever, he got benched. It is breaking my heart. He is an amazing athlete, an outstanding student, and a kind and sweet soul all rolled up into a handsome disheveled boy/man work of perfection. But what I know wont make it better. This is life in sports and he plays sports in one of the best schools and in one of the most competitive states in the country. So thats fine, he can take it, I can take it. He will only get stronger from this.
So, with the hum of the washer going and the repetition of wiping and dusting, I dont dwell quite so much on what I cant change. I have faith, like a mustard seed, in the paths my children will take and at least, I can give them what I can. A comforting and (sometimes) clean home for them to come home to.